Saturday, November 14, 2009

A trip, a party, a spider, a turkey.

So recently this Aquatic Cousin returned from San Francisco where I spent Halloween visiting with Empty Chair Cousin (or Best Dancer Cousin). We had a splendid adventure which included the commandeering of a Fauxconut for the afore mentioned cousin. We had some spectacular meals my favorite being the brunch we had at Foreign Cinema.
We saw the Dirty Pro's at Bimbo's and danced the night away! The Aquatic Cousins saw them at ACL aka Mud Fest 09, but they were way better at a smaller indoor venue.

The highlight of my Halloween was the Pre-Halloween party we hosted at Empty Chair Cousin's apartment it gave everyone the chance to test out their costumes and we had quite the turnout. It was a hit thanks to the loot we scored from Tartine Bakery! Yum!
Actual Halloween was a most magical adventure comprised of walks, party hopping and dancing with strangers dressed as the Iceman and Maverick. I may or may not have carried around my own bottle of white wine toward the end of the night. . . ha.

Now home and broke I am trying to live more modestly *cough* so I had a girly dinner with Lana, Val, April and Jessica at Eastside Cafe. Alana and I shared Ruby Trout in a ginger cream and mushroom sauce! It was delicious and I would recommend it to anyone! Alana and I then traveled back over to my hood and went to a house party thrown by Ginger Lauren a good friend of AC2. The party was a hit. . .for many reasons. I like it because Worth and the crew showed unexpectedly, AC2 liked it because there were men doing Martial Arts...
We both enjoyed the jello shots and drunk Alana!

The next night the Aquatic Cousins ventured to Spider House to get "work" done and then into downtown Austin. It was Peyton's birthday so we hit up 219 west and had some cake and cocktails. Afterward I may or may not have made my cousin go with to Lucky Lounge for some cheap doubles :D WoooHoo! From there it went downhill and. . .let's just leave it at that.

I feel refreshed! How about you?

So now that we have seen some squawking muppets do a rock opera, let's talk about the less talented Adam Lambert aka Glambert!
So we all know he is gay and was on American Idol right? Well apparently he decided to makeout with his keyboard player on stage (click on his name above to see the full video via Youtube.) at the American Music Awards- and well, it caused some backlash. Oh really like that wasn't planned! Well in any case, Diane Sawyer just said no to Glambert and cancelled his performance the following morning on Good Morning America. Isn't it a sad time when a boy can't kiss another boy on national television? Does anyone else remember a similar performance from a few years back? Madonna/ Brit-Brit/ Christina mackin' down to "Like a Virgin"?

Did you notice Justin Timberlake and his disapproving face? Funny! Basically what I am saying is the same old shit has happened but Glambert is far less entertaining and I think he sucks (well no kidding right, ew).
Bitchin' Thread's Glambert! And that is just what he wears to go to the Grocery store!

So now Turkey day is upon us! For the festivities tomorrow I will be here in Wimberley with the Romano's (god help me). Dad and I have this whole awkward, haven't-spoken-in-a-month little problem and then my Aunt Debra has the big "C". It will be tough with that stuff looming about, not to mention that it is a DRY event as all the Romano functions are. Hopefully I can hide out in Morgan's room and play Rock Band with her.

Then Saturday it is the Parker Family Thanksgiving at the G-Bar Ranch. We will venture into Aggie territory for this event, please prey for our speedy return! Thankfully and not so thankfully the Parker family likes its booze and that will help make it more bearable.
Our Granddad is dying and the whole family isn't doing a very good job of handling the whole thing. Still no Hospice and we needed them a week ago. It really isn't the place of the Aquatic Cousins to intervene so we are just innocent passengers on this derailing train of doom. Woe.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Yeah. . . . YOU'RE WELCOME!

Also a special thank you to all our service men and women on this fine holiday! Especially to the favorite Army man of the Aquatic Cousins, we will drink in your honor sir!

This is AC1 saying good luck to you during this holiday season, and remember you can't spell the word Families without the word LIES!

** There will be more photos of the misc. adventures when blogger and the internet decide to like me again.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

When I Grow Up I Wanna be Stacy (or Lafayette)

I am here today, readers fair, to implore those of you in the Austin area to consider coming out to Martial Way Academy next week THIS WEEK NOV 16-20TH for FREE CLASSES! and to help us meet some special goals as we drift ever-closer to that magical time of year (before the time of year where you cry over your credit card bills and wonder why you bought so many presents for your undeserving relatives and boring co-workers).

I will be there, hopefully four times- a lofty goal considering my insane schedule- to participate in the Kick-a-Thon and to donate some money for a student who came down with Guillian-Barre' syndrome a few weeks ago and nearly died from it. Take it from me, this lady is AWESOME and I wanna be like her when I grow up- she does push-ups on her knuckles and I'm still doing the girly kind on my knees (damn my trick ankle. . .yes I'm seventy-five). It's also a great example of what a fantastic little family I'm so glad to have become a part of at Martial Way- how many other places do you think would help raise money for a student's medical bills? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and less cynical.

There's also a sweet Thanksgiving Special going with a few slots left, if you decide you like your free class and would like to sign up for a two-month commitment. I did a similar program over the summer and got hooked. I've even gone so far as to purchase my very own Thai kickboxing pads that live in the back of Lafayette* and confuse many passengers.

Moral of the Blog-Post Story: Think kind thoughts and come out to Martial Way if you're so inclined, if just to burn off some calories before eating an entire pie on Thanksgiving.

ALSO-ALSO: You can SPONSOR ME in the Kick-a-Thon for something like a nickel a kick. We're aiming for a thousand a class! I'll post my results here.

ETA: Wednesday class 750 kicks. Not too bad!
Thursday class 1064 kicks- putting the week's total at 1814


*Lafayette is the name of my Ford Edge; he was thusly named for the party in his cupholders (or the ambient lighting feature in the interior; this does not mean I condone drinking and driving). I felt Lafayette the character from True Blood and the Charlene Harris Southern Vampire series would approve.

Check him out. He approves.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Gregg Phone: Does not have tutu, decidedly not aquatic

In keeping with my (AC2 or Sparker, if you will) incredibly varied sense of coordination, I managed to drop Gregg the 3G iPhone into a glass of water sitting in my cup-holder on Friday evening as I was leaving Zen with my tasty takeout wares.

Usually there is a party* in my cupholders and not water. But though Gregg Phone was named for Old Gregg of Mighty Boosh fame, he is not in fact semi-aquatic as his namesake is, or at least doesn't seem to be after spending two days in a bag of rice and being charged overnight. I still hold out slim hope, but I'm guessing he has died an early death at the age of one year. I am sad. He was loved and also I am broke and not sure I can afford to replace him in the manner I would wish to.

Let's have a moment of silence for brave Gregg Phone, who tried to imitate the semi-aquatic ways of both his owner and his namesake. Deep breath. Let us now move on to happier and more prosperous waters: COUSIN ADVENTURES!

The Aquatic Cousins have been adventuring somewhat seperately lately, with AC1 visiting Empty Chair Cousin in San Fran and AC2 (me) holding down the BDH** fort with the Pointy-eared Canine Brigade (pictured below) while attempting to work and avoid my thesis at all costs, instead playing with AC1's closet and making new outfits from its contents. Also I did laundry last night.

Pointy-eared Canine Brigade

I did, however, have a fabulous adventure with work bestie Elyse- on Halloween after taking the Pointy-eared Canine Brigade for a long walk through the park, she suggested we randomly venture to Houston to see Hanson in concert. I agreed, as long as we left early the next day to return to the dogs, lest they be neglected in my charge (they are my nephews, after all).

At this point, Dear Reader, you are probably having one of a few reactions:
1) Holy shit, I haven't thought about Hanson in years. Aren't they all married now or something? They're still around doing musical things? (Yes and yes.)
2) Hahaha Hanson is so stupid! Did they play MmmBop? Do they all still look like girls? (Well Taylor rather looked like a gay pirate, but we'll get to that in a minute.)
3) OMG I LOVE HANSON! (You are probably the rarer reader and possibly named Laura Taylor)
4) I'm hungry. (You're a person after my own stomach, Reader Dear)

I have to say, I am up for pretty much any random adventure and what happened in the course of this evening- involving a faux Spanish man from Craigslist and my costume of "The Death of All Your Hopes and Dreams" among other things- most definitely qualified in all aspects. I mean, their encore was a cover of Thriller.

Does that not say it all? My favorite part is the guy from one of the opening bands who is just wandering around the stage with a beer. The video doesn't show it, but he basically fell off of the stage headfirst, between stage and barrier. That's the part where Taylor stops singing and starts laughing, looking mightily like a gay pirate (he had stripped off the other components of their costume as The Three Amigos) as he goes to help him back up.

After the show we met up with my first wife/godsister/bestie Rebecca and her husband Michael who were on a pub crawl in Montrose (this act combined both my love for them and my need to not sleep in my car or drive back to Austin at midnight). Elyse and I were sadly without costume as we had assumed the concert would get out a bit later than it did, but I still had my temporary roller derby tattoos on from work the day before (see: photo at top of this post; please do not think I'd be dumb enough to ever actually get an Ed Hardy neck tattoo) and since I was wearing a sweater and a t-shirt I just started telling people I was dressed as "the death of all your hopes and dreams".

Now that's a scary costume.

Additionally, if you are ever in the Montrose area of Houston and looking for a delicious old-fashioned cocktail, I recommend you stop by Anvil. It's a bit pricey if you're not going for their special, but trust me- an Airmail is worth it (and if you're used to buying drinks in NY or LA, $9 might not seem so horrendous).

I did wish that Elyse had brought her costume, because it was the height of awesome and showed up all other Little Red Riding Hoods I have seen before or since- with a steampunk corset and custom-made hood she will probably reign supreme for many more moons to come.

(Photo credit to Oliver Wong, esteemed co-worker of ours. You may peruse more of his awesome work on his Flickr page, if you are into that stalkery kind of thing.)

To your right: please observe the awesome; corset not pictured but can be imagined.

After a sexy buffet breakfast at Baba Yega Sunday morning, we journeyed back to Austin-town and the swift return of realities. . .but not before taking the Pointy-eared Canine Brigade to the park for some choice tennis ball chasing action. I am an excellent Auntie, after all.


*Party in my Cup Holders: this does not mean drinking and driving, but instead refers to the ambient lighting that changes across a rainbow of colors when a certain button is pressed; runs inside my cup holders and around the foot area in the front and back seats (this feature also solely responsible for the naming of my vehicle as Lafayette)

**BDH: again, this is Barbie Dreamhouse, residence of AC1 and chock full of awesome