Friday, December 31, 2010

Especially that last bit.

I resolve, as always, to do all things better in the New Year. My favorite wordsmith puts it all quite well.

A wish, a toast, a statement. See you on the other side, the lot of you.

Aquatic Pal Val, Moi, Aquatic Cousin 1.

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art-- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."


"I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind."


"To absent friends, lost loves old gods and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due."

-Neil Gaiman (brought to you by AC2)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Our Lord & Savior, Old Gregg

In honor of Christmas, the Aquatic Cousins offer you the following:

A Very Bad Cat Christmas!

Merry Happy Tra-la-la to you and yours- whether yours is a very Bad Cat, a very Floofy Cat, your terrifying and/or loving family or a strange woman next to you at the grocery store making chicken noises while choosing eggs*. Also if you don't celebrate Christmas at all, just use it as an excuse to drink.


*This actually happened to me, today.

We are good at lots of things...

Merry whatever you're having from the Aquatic CAZZINES!
(and Valerie)

Here are your holiday trends for 2010 direct from us to you:
1) Hair Tinsel! I am rocking some gold strands right now!
It is fun and festive for the Holidays! You decorate a tree, how about your head (see how I write in red to make you feel more christmas cheer) ?
2) Being de-friended by family members on Facebook! That is what it is all about kids, being with loved ones and celebrating the birth of our savior Old Gregg.
3) The previously mentioned (see post below) Cat Patty Cake video!
4) Old School anthems of female empowerment a la Salt N Pepa!
5) The always adorable Christmas Trolls, I recently discovered that I own one much to my delight!
6) Last but not least, getting hammered with your parents while wearing an adorable Xmas Sweater!

* Cazzine aka Cousin as spelled by seven year old me!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Patticake Cats: I invented it. I started it.

I will never stop watching this video because it is hilarious. Make sure you're watching it with the sound on- the commentary is what makes it. Whoever made this is my hero for all of time and space (right behind Captain Tightpants, that is). Thanks be to Aquatic Friend Christine for this and may all of the Patticake Cats in the world help her through 2L finals at the schoolings of law that she undertakes.




Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Don't worry you can just ask Joan!

Having a fashion emergency? Personal crisis? Well never fear because Joan Rivers is here for you! Personally I think that she may actually be god. How else could she still be alive after having so much plastic surgery?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rain[bows]

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

Aquatic Friend Bonnie found this and deemed it my theme song. I absolutely cannot argue this point, as it has so far made my Monday 110% better and IT'S NOT EVEN 7AM.

Now if only one of these would show up to take me to my soul-crushing job, things might be even better. By that I mean a pink fluffy unicorn with some sort of vehicle made of rainbows, not one of the embodiments of the kid singing this video. That would just be awkward. Unless he brought the cardboard keyboard. I'd probably ask to play it because it magically sounds like a xylophone.



ETA: I tried Google-image searching for a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow, but somehow it came up with Paddington Bear and a shirtless Native American brave. Also Gary Oldman in some sort of flowing purple wizard's robe.

I think I've just commissioned some sweet artwork FROM MYSELF. (Of a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow. Not of Gary Oldman in that robe.)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Veteran's Day

Veteran's Day may have been Thursday, but I personally feel our service men and woman deserve to be thought of and thanked more than once a year.

To every person who has served: Thank You.


Sunday, October 31, 2010

Samhain and the Pallas Cat

(Somebody just discovered the change font section!)

Love, Aquatic Cousin 2 and Aquatic Pal Val

Also Love, Aquatic Cousin One and her wire hanger.

Bonus love from the Pallas Cats!

I mean, pretty much this is how we're all feeling today:

Officially owners of the greatest bitch face in the animal kingdom.

What were YOU for Halloween? Tell us in the comments! We'll be nursing our hangovers in the dark, without pants.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

If you could so kindly move please ma'am, you are obstructing my path of forward motion

From the desk of AC2 (which she has finally cleaned somewhat)

This amused me (AC2) way too much. Bad Cat has a Christmas Wish List and all that's on it is a Roomba.

Also possibly a mastiff to swipe at, but I'm sure I'll also do.

Another thing I am way too amused by:

You should really think about bookmarking this magnificent page of gifs. You're welcome.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

I bet they all read a lot of Fitzgerald.

From the kitchen table of AC2, Sparker.

I got a makeover, you guys!

Which for some reason, I cannot enlarge. But no matter. Because:

You can have one too!

I'm hoping this will help attract my second One True Love (OTL) Chris2, whom I met poolside in Florida. He's a Jersey Cop, but without a "situation" or tan at all. There was a Jersey Cop convention at this particular hotel I had the good fortune to be staying in. AC1 was wildly jealous when I told her about it, but less so when she realized he only had a man necklace and I didn't see a single person with Pauly D's Mortal Kombat hair.

A girl can dream, though. A girl can dream.

In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

I bet the people who work at the Gatsby salon on Jerseylicious are terribly fond of Fitzgerald's writing.


Monday, October 4, 2010

Sunday, October 3, 2010

On Birthdays and Water.

From the couch of AC2, Sparker.

I am still not entirely sure where September went, but I do know that I cannot wish it back no matter how fervently I try. As I try not to go into spasms of panic over the fact that it's now October (employment! thesis!), I figure I should thank all of you across The Great Internets who helped me with my Charity: Water September Campaign. On the last day, I was close --!

An excerpt from the Charity: Water Log (Blog)- they highlighted me on my birthday : )

It says "Sarah's turning 25: Her mission statement is short and sweet: 'You know you would've at least bought me a beer for my birthday. . .so buy this kid some clean water instead." We love it. She's $700 strong towards her $1000 goal."

But alas, I thought the campaign ended at midnight on the 30th, not midnight on the 29th so I did not all-out campaign as I should have. The end result though, was $816 raised towards clean drinking water for the Bayaka people of the Central African Republic. That's enough for 8 families, 40 people.

I might be unemployed and quickly running out of money, but I still have my own apartment with hot and cold water a mere turn of the tap away. 'Clean' has never been a question for me, my entire life. Neither has 'safe'. I look at the Photo of the Day (Oct 1st) on their blog and I'm happy I could be some small part of that. Thank you to everyone who helped make my donation possible- and there's always next year : )

From the Charity: Water Log: A boy in Tekeiplay, Liberia, grins at his village’s hand-dug well. His old water source, before the charity: water well was built, was a 25-minute walk away and the water gave his village chronic stomach problems. (photo: Mo Scarpelli)

Water changes everything for children – click here to learn more.

Everyone who donated should receive a tax receipt by email, and when the project in the C.A.R. is finished in 12-18 months, you'll receive coordinates and photos. 100% of the money you donated goes directly to the project- the private backers of charity: water make this possible.


Saturday, October 2, 2010


From the couch of AC2, Sparker.

I- AC2- am a huge Harry Potter nerd/fan/dork/however you want to say it. I think J.K. Rowling is a magnificent writer and I love the world that she built and that she believes, like Madeline L'Engle*- that children can deal with the dark and heavy and the hard questions because they are as much a part of life as the happiness and magic; indeed experiencing one can only strengthen the regard we have for the other.

Naturally I had to try and find Rowling's interview with Oprah that aired today and the internets did not disappoint me (Leaky Cauldron FTW!). What surprised me is that in my natural state of procrastination, I should find just the words that made me want to stay- not on track- but to do better than I have been by far. (It's amazing just how demoralizing unemployment is, friends, I will say that.)

"Failure. Failure. It's so important; it doesn't get spoken about enough- we speak about success all the time. But you know- I do not know any- I haven't met- and I've been so fortunate to have met extraordinary people through Harry Potter-and not one of them didn't have their failure, their more than one failure- and it's the ability to resist- to resist failure in may ways, or use failure that often leads to the greatest success, isn't it? So yeah. Failure.

I've often met people who- who um, are terrified- you know, in a straight jacket of their own making because they'd rather do anything than fail, they don't want to try for fear of failing. Well that's the rock bottom thing- rock bottom wasn't fun. At all. I'm not going to romanticize rock bottom. But- it was liberating. What did I have to lose?"

There is power in that freedom. I have a hard time with the fear of Doing Things Wrong (I think this is a trait common in anyone who likes to please people or has ever been accused of being a "goody two-shoes") and that brings in quite a scope for failure. It's why I love being friends with people like Lauren Carter, who push me out of my boundaries and get me to try things I might never have done on my own otherwise. I am more of a perfectionist than I am willing to admit, even to myself. (This becomes a funny contradiction when I'll, say, let cleaning go for longer than I should because I don't have time to clean it perfectly. That's weird, I know.)

So while I'm not starving and it's probable I'll find some sort of job before I get evicted (and therefore I'm not, you know, digging up the scuba gear that originally dubbed us the Aquatic Cousins in order to explore the water table under rock bottom), I have quite a long way before I get anywhere near where I'd like to be- where I've probably unconsciously expected I'd be- at this point in my life. Whether that's actually a "failure" or not will always be judged differently by All Who Can Be Called Them.

I think I will listen to Ms. Rowling for a while. She seems to have done rather well for herself.

P.S. Oprah are you hiring?!


*There's a quote from Madeline L'Engle that I love also: "You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children."

I have a huge love for YA (young-adult) lit and I can't believe how overlooked it is. Twilight is not an exception because Twilight is horribly written- I'm happy if it acts as a gateway to reading better books, though. Try His Dark Materials or The Hunger Games. Those books will sit with you long after you have read them. . . and might even make you think a little differently. That, in my mind, is what a good book should do.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Monday, September 20, 2010

Keepin' up with Sanrio.

Hey AC1- I think I found the perfect house for us to live in.

You're welcome.


Monday, September 13, 2010

FUNemployment: not so much fun, really.

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

How quickly the time passes when you are FUNemployed, as I have been since September 1st. And mostly it's quickly because you're in a blind panic or feel like you're edging ever-closer to one at least, so really it's only "FUN" employment if you have a trust fund or are a recent lottery winner. Ample free time - funds to enjoy it = HAHAHAHA damn it. And fortunately I still have my thesis to keep me warm. Too bad utter frustration doesn't pay much.

To keep my spirits up, I am compiling a list of careers I could begin to pursue out of hope of either generating decent amounts of money very quickly or glamorizing the life of the homeless (which I will never really be because AC1 would totally let me move into her closet).

Solutions to FUNemployment: An Aquatic Cousins Listing.

1. Cocktail waitress at a strip joint. One of my friends has a joke he loves to tell- "What's the difference between the cocktail waitress and the stripper? Two weeks." However knowing there's a possibility that he could come into the strip joint and thus see me naked were I to make that transition would be enough to prevent it.
2. Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford is getting really old and we cannot let Shia LeBeouf take over that position, we really can't. (Auto-correct wants to rename him "Shia Beowulf" which I think is awesome.)
3. Cat whisperer. Although that might just equate to "stealing from the elderly".
4. Professional blogger. Call me.
5. Eternal Grad Student. I am already doing pretty well at this one but have unfortunately not been able to find any grants for "taking forever to finish my thesis".
6. Circus performer. As you can see we are now moving into the "glorified homeless" section since I am not talented enough nor do I have any weird enough body modifications to be hired by any sort of legit circus.
7. Assistant to Lauren Carter. Can I come and live in your jungle hut with the fire-hippies in Hawaii? I can be like Mr. Willoughby from the Outlander series. That gives you several hundred pages to explain my presence and also I only require one pair of silk pajamas.

Okay I'm not sure this is actually lifting my spirits. Maybe I should respond to that ALL CAPS JOB POSTING ON CRAIGSLIST TO MAKE $1000 A WEEK MUST NOT HAVE FELONIES WE TRAIN RIGHT PEOPLE ON BUS LINE!!! Seems pretty legit.

Leave your suggestions for my next career in the comments.


Monday, August 30, 2010

Lesson: David Bowie-esque crystal balls will always save you.

Always the Aquatic Cousins want to be with you, and make-believe with you (that sounds like the foundation for a healthy relationship- that and foiling of dangerous snow creatures).

Thanks be to Aquatic Pal Val for this magical gem.


PS: I'm still raising money in lieu of my 25th birthday to bring clean drinking water to the Bayaka people. Learn more and donate at my page!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I'm giving up my 25th birthday.

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

I am a very lucky person.

I've had ample opportunity to travel in my life, to some amazing places. Usually by the grace of friends who were living there.

St. Peter's Basilica|Rome, Italy|Summer 2007
Barcelona, Spain| August 2007

The Big Island of Hawaii|August 2010

Next month I turn twenty-five. I've been thinking offhand what I'd like to do for that milestone birthday- a friend invited me to Vegas, I thought about throwing a party, doing a wine tour through the Hill Country, just asking for some money to go shopping or pay off part of my debt.

Instead I've decided to give it up. By September 30th, I want to raise $1,000 to contribute to the September Campaign to provide clean drinking water. This year the campaign focuses on the Bayaka people of the Central African Republic. Deforestation has driven them from their home and they're having to learn a new way of life- should we not make it possible for them to skip the three hour walk to clean drinking water?

charity: water 2010 September Campaign: Clean Water for the Bayaka from charity: water on Vimeo.

If you're my friend, you probably would have at least bought me a beer for my birthday. Let's buy that kid some clean drinking water instead. If you're a September baby too, consider giving up your birthday and let's see just how much we can do.

Donate, or find out more about the cause at my page.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

How To Be Alone

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

I think it's something we can all use a lesson on. As kids we're almost always surrounded- family, friends and classmates at school, after-school activities; we seem to have to constantly debunk the "it's horrible to be an only child" myth (we Aquatic Cousins are both only children- take that how you will.) As we move into a adulthood I think we sometimes fear being alone the way we used to fear the monster in the closet and we find ourselves in the trap of pulling on the security blanket of an old relationship repeatedly, just to keep the monster away.

Spend a little time with yourself instead and the monster begins to fade.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Not 5 O'clock...

From the desk of AC1 (in Mexico).

So anyone who really knows the Aquatic Cousins knows that we have very strange and graphic dreams about all sorts of things. Well, the past two nights I have had dreams that include a certain inconvenient friend. These dreams were so life like it was like it had actually happened when I woke up! GAAAARRRRHHHH! ANGRY MANDA!

I resisted the urge to give him an undeserved bitch slap via email, however I am in Mexico and so I ask. . . is it too early for a beer?

AC1 aka MandaPants

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Leavin' on a jet plane- pretty sure I know when I'll be back, though. Unfortunately.

Both Aquatic Cousins are traveling this week and into next, so updates may be more sporadic than normal.

Scarcity drives up demand. We learned that in our schoolings. Maybe we'll have EIGHT WHOLE READERS whence we return.


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Human Energy Raditates from. . .what, exactly?

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

This is the dumbest advice I have seen, maybe ever, so it's not so surprising that it's from a Twitter account called "Rush Right":

Human energy enters your body through your belly button – not eyes, ears. If it’s not positive, twist your body away to deflect. It works!

I'm pretty sure that "twisting your body away to deflect negative energy" is called "ignoring someone". Please just envision how that would play out.

Some Girl: I am saying rude things!

Some Other Girl: My belly button does not accept negative energies from you! I TURN AWAY! I TURN AWAAAAAY!

Belly buttons are just scars, y'all. Scars. Not portals of energy. Lords.


Monday, August 2, 2010

Undead Jonas Brothers.

There are so many contenders for Best Line in this Song.

Lyrics, because they are indeed in the Key of Awesome:

Ill never be an emo vampire
Setting tweenaged loins on fire

I've got nothing in common with the vampires of today
They gaze at girls and pout and brood and then just run away

This Twilight hack thinks she can come along and change the Vampire rules
I guess sleeping in coffins and wearing capes, suddenly isn't cool

Girls wont climb up trees with me or canoodle in the grass
And when I play Vampire baseball I always get picked last

[spoken] Seriously dudes. That's a human you just picked over me.

Ive seduced all kinds of women from all over the world
But, now the only dates I get are with chunky Gothic girls

When did all these Vampires become abstinent and whiny
When I walk into the sun I don't get all bright and shiny

Vampires don't have purity rings like undead Jonas Brothers
If I cant score with these high school girls perhaps Ill go for their mothers

(spoken) Why not? When you're 600 years old there's no such thing as a cougar.

Ill never be an emo vampire
Setting tweenaged loins on fire

Ill have no participation
In this vampire pussification

So wake me up when the world grows a pair. . .of fangs

You thought I was going to say balls didn't you?

And a bonus link, in honor of SHARK WEEK- a National Geographic slide show of terrifying teeth.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

You'll find him in the Elderly Dutch chatroom

From the Internets of Moloch, which he owns.

If the Aquatic Cousins ever take an Aquatic Vacay together, it will probably look something like this:

Sourced from the original home of the LOLcats, in case you have been living somewhere very remote and were unaware that cats powered the Internet and Moloch owns it.

He only wants your love. Also, somewhere in New Orleans a twenty-five year old man named Michael is buying a Hand Grenade. Good for him.


Friday, July 23, 2010

To get us through a very sad time

From the desk of AC1, Manda.

To Barton Von Maynard aka Moose, a very dignified and beloved dog:

SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL, Dalmatian dog, died 1940

Last Will: The great American dramatist Eugene O'Neill wrote this last will and testament to comfort his wife after the death of the family pet, a beautiful dalmatian. It read: "I, Silverdene Emblem O'Neill (familiarly known to my family, friends and acquaintances as Blemie) ... do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my master.... I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and faith.

"These I leave to all those who loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most....Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.

"I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain....It is time I said good-bye, too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be a sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die....

"One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, 'When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one.' Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again....

"So I suggest a dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible.... To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris....I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog....

"One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: 'Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved.' No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail."


Satan Cat probably is capable of doing that to my tire WITH THE EVIL IN HER SOUL.

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

Today I had a pretty nasty blowout on my way to work; while driving, my cap-less water bottle fell over and started adding a river of water to the interior of my beloved Lafayette (yes, I named my car after a fictional gay man on True Blood) and while reaching over to grab it, I gave the curb a. . .love tap. The curb is apparently not into loving relationships, but rather S&M or perhaps downright abuse.

I'm going with the latter, because the blowout forced my car to slam into the curb a second time, at which point I watched a tiny, silver sliver of something fly into the air as my car wobbled to a sad stop.

That silver sliver, it turns out, was a chunk of my wheel.

When I do a thing, I like to do it right.

That's when I realized I probably should have given in to my first instinct this morning and just never gotten out of bed. Fortunately thanks to the kind efforts of the Chevron Travel Club, the people of Discount Tire company and a credit line from American Express, my car now has a shiny new shoe. I just have to go to the dealer tomorrow morning to make sure I didn't knock it out of alignment. Which. . .seems pretty damn likely.

I sent my mother the following picture to explain what happened:

That is what really happened to my tire.

For some reason she hasn't responded to me yet.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

GETTIN' down on some home improvement and SH*T

From the desk of AC1, Mandapants.

For some reason I decided that I should spend my last $50.00 today at the Home Depot! Home Depot you ask? Why yes the good ole Hooome Deeeps! So I ventured over to my local Home Deeps near St. Edwards University and began a quest for home makeover liberation!

When I pulled up there were like 600 some odd Mexican (I assume they were Mexican because I am a racist. .for all I know they could have been Columbians or Ecuadorians whatever) men outside looking for work. Hey more power to ya dudes but I got this situation on lock down! Let me at that paint section bitch! So I strolled on in there like I owned that Home Deeps clad in hot pink shorts and matching headband with my Gucci thrown over my shoulder all casual-like ( I couldn't let on to any of those plumber types that I ain't a professional) and I headed straight over to the section marked PAINT.

I had a clue as to the color I was lookin' fer so I went over to the Behr section (I've heard its the best) and began to peruse the selection. WOW so many options! OOh PINK! ! Oooooh! Oooooh! FOCUS Amanda FOCUS! You are not here to buy pink paint you are here for some shade of white (preferable a bluish white with a name suggesting of something that pairs well with Vodka.. i.e ice cube or glacier). Then like the magical home improvement fairy herself had blessed me I found it! The perfect crisp bluish white color and it is named CLUB SODA! Can you believe that?! Club Soda! Thank you home improvement fairy I shall never forget this!

After doing a dance and a cheer (very discretely, mind you) I sashayed over to the counter and ordered up a gallon of Club Soda in high gloss. The man looked at me very seriously and asked me to hand over the color card (whoops) then he looked up again with a most confused expression on his face and said "High gloss? Are you sure?" Yes? I replied meekly. Was high gloss bad? I thought its shiny finish would look great with my table? Who does he think he is?! I know what I want! GIMME MY HIGH GLOSS CLUB SODA!!! Who does he think I am? Just some idiot girl who hasn't a clue what she is doing *cough*? He instructed me that it would be about 10 minutes so I went hunting for supplies. . obviously I would need a brush right? Yeah and some TAPE! Yeah some plastic to cover the floor and a tray! Yeaaah I got this! By the time I wandered all over gathering these things and accidentally crossed into the plumbing section my paint was ready! Woot! I checked out leaving the Home Deeps and all the Mexicans behind in a cloud of Tonka truck dust headed home to the BDH!

So I may not have a clue what I am doing. . . but so far so good! I remembered to tape the part I didn't want to paint and sanded the legs... two coats later it is lookin' like a white table! A very special white table painted in the perfect shade of CLUB SODA! WHAT?! YEAAAA!


My birthday is in two months, you guys.


See more on these adorable monsters at ZooBorns.

Probably the only kitten I could get that would give Satan Cat a run for her money. Because cats have money. I have to go.


Monday, July 19, 2010

You musn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

Stop whatever it is that you are doing right now, and make plans to go see Inception. Then you will probably want to make plans to see it again because this, my friends, is a movie that is going to make you think- your questions will only lead to more questions. The analytic in me LOVES IT. There is room for endless interpretation (which might tell you a lot about how cynical you are- or hopeful, or vest in the Self. . .you see my point) or you can simply enjoy it for the heist film it is- with a slight horror bent, in that your mind is something you can never really escape. At least not in any way that isn't potentially permanently damaging.

Bless you, Christopher Nolan, for managing to deliver on a movie that is not only thought-provoking, but visually stunning. Or as I put it after my first viewing "fucking beautiful".

May I also add this movie has done nothing to quell my ridiculous crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Call me, JGL.

"You're asking me for Inception. I hope you do understand the gravity of that request."

Trust me, this is one movie that is worth the $7 many times over.


ETA: DISCLAIMER: Apparently if I want to give something a good review, I have to tell the Internets that I am not getting paid to do so. HEY INTERNETS, I AM POOR. The end.

(Dear Christopher Nolan,

If you want to give me money to write good reviews, I might not be against that. I am still paying off grad school.

Love, Sparker

PS Just kidding I have artistic integrity. In reviews. I have to go now.)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The cat of chagrin

A return to the days of PICTURES OF CATS? No. Because this is a video. Use your brain*.

Someone get me one of these dudes for my 25th birthday (YOU ONLY HAVE A LITTLE OVER TWO MONTHS GET CRACKING.)


*Unless you're an undead creature who is lacking them, in which case good job navigating the internet.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Boy Who Lived.

Guess what went up last night? The Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer.

November cannot get here fast enough.


Friday, June 25, 2010

Ain't no panic in my disco, only party. And sparkles.

From the desk of AC2, Sparker.

My life is pretty ridiculous these days, you guys. Even more so than usual. In the grand tradition of Doing Things At The Last Minute (which I started in Elementary school; you can ask my mother*), I was up until 3am Sunday putting the finishing touches on my Disco!Deer for the First Annual Art Show that my company put on Monday evening.

I always see the emails for these things when they're six weeks away and think My god! I am a good artist! My mom says so! Nevermind that I haven't produced a decent watercolor or paper-mâché Mastiff mask since the 8th grade- I AM AN ARTIST. I WILL PRODUCE NOT ONE- BUT THREE!- PIECES FOR THIS SHOW AND ALL WILL LOVE ME.

Obviously this ends in time and budget constraints that find me shopping for supplies for one piece only at the Kerrville Wal*Mart and spray-painting in the night so I can't get in trouble from my apartment complex's management. (No, I have no idea how that silver paint got on the grass. How mysterious.)

More importantly: What is a Disco!Deer, you may ask? Ask and you shall receive, Reader Dear:

That is a Disco!Deer. My artist's bio, in case you can't read it, says "The more ridiculous, the better."

Now accepting commissions! And I actually have some too- get your orders in today, folks. That one in particular will be on display in my office until July 30th and then will adorn the wall either of my living room or right above the bed in my room. I can't decide which location suits it best; the bedroom is certainly more ridiculous, but the living room is where everyone will be able to see it. DECISIONS. I hear the important ones are what Adulthood is all about. (Don't worry if you are having trouble becoming a Real Adult. You are not alone.)

That's probably the most exciting thing I've done all week too- I spent Tuesday night helping Aquatic Friend Ginger Lauren prepare for her GRE exam (NEVER GO TO GRAD SCHOOL NEVER GOOOOO) by quizzing her on vocab words and coded a large chunk of my thesis data. We are planning to continue the nerdy party into this weekend by using large vocab words while making lump crab dip and having a Harry Potter marathon. Ah, the wild carefree days of young adulthood.

So. Give me more reasons to ignore my thesis and glue shiny shit into cardboard animals instead. Available designs (custom designs- say, a Disco!Unicorn or elk- are available, but require more time and money to make happen):

  • Elephant
  • Moose (there's a Sarah Palin joke in here somewhere)
  • Deer
  • Rhino
  • Bison
Email me (sparkeranne at gmail dot com) if you're so inclined as to have this wonder grace your walls.


*Procrastination From an Early Age: A Tale by AC2

My mom's favorite thing to hear when I was 10 or 11:

"What Sarah?"
"I have a project and I need some poster board. Do we have any?"
"No, but we can go to the store. . .wait, when is this project due?"
"Well. . .then we better go to the store?"

It's a good thing I was cute.