Recently, but then again not so recently, it has been pointed out to me that (in addition to never posting on this blog here) I have some barriers built up.
So, I asked myself...What is a barrier? By definition a barrier is a noun, an obstacle, something that is built up to bar passage. Alright then, self, what are your "barriers"? I asked (definitely allowed, and maaaybe in a Russian accent). Do I have a hypothetical glacier which I refuse to melt? Or if you prefer it, picture an image of me sitting in a martini glass so large and tall that you just can't reach me way up there.
After a long conversation with self (not good friends Michael and Rebs, but the inner self), she told me it is neither of these things. "Amanda," said self (in a small French accented voice) "you are not an Ice-Princess or an emotional shut it, you are more of a layer cake, or an onion if you will ...you do kind of smell today, you should shower."
During my shower I thought about what I had been told and after the water ran cold it came to me: knowing me takes time and like Lady Gaga said "Loving me is like chewing on pearls". And while I may have my very own matching luggage set that I drag around to every place I go, I don't have barriers; I have layers. These layers I've got just take time to peel back. Most people don't get past them, but the ones who stick around, the ones I love see my core and truly love me for me (even if it is painful and crunchy).