Father time is a bastard.

I started writing this at least a week ago and never finished, probably because of the mac n' cheese. Enjoy? -AC2

So, two things: I've met my Internet Soulmate and also we've actually had a request for more cat posts.

My attempt at MS Paint artwork. Mrow.

You guys should really pester AC1 to update with photos from the Cousin Bachelorette Weekend: Cousins Take On College Station (and meet a fifteen-year-old-who-looks-like-Rupert-Grint's-double in a bar) because otherwise this blog is probably just going to devolve into pictures of my cats and nothing else. I know, Dear Readership of Five, that this will disappoint you. And then it will just be me reading my own posts.

You did a good job, Sarah! Chin up!

I don't know that I would actually use the phrase "chin up" with myself but then I've been at work for ten hours and haven't eaten dinner yet and the macaroni and cheese just smells so good right now. . .what was I talking about?

Oh right. My Internet Soulmate.

As a prolific reader and procrastinator, I found Hyperbole and a Half and immediately set myself to reading the entire archives when I should have been doing things like working and sleeping. I sent the conversation Allie had with her boyfriend about him killing Phineus, her dream pet unicorn, to my boyfriend because it sounded like a conversation we would have.

T: I stopped reading after the part he said having a unicorn dream 'sounds awesome'. Nobody would say that. She made that up.

I may have to reevaluate our relationship.

Also: CATS!





























My name is Wilford Brimley, and I have DIABEETUS.

You're welcome.

Also-Also: Questions? Comments? Concerns? I think you know how that little box below works. Get in it.

-AC2

Stick up for yourself, son. Nevermind what anybody else done.

This entry features a lot of disjointed thoughts that more or less come together in the end. You're welcome.

Since I'm not terribly hip (I know, completely contrary to appearances, right?) I nearly always get my music passed along from my much cooler friends.

This morning I decided to develop the concept of "Positivity Tuesday" when I failed to get up at 5:30am to work on The Thesis of Doom and instead went back to sleep when the pets of the BDH swarmed on me with nefarious intentions of cuddling, en masse (there are two of them). At least I didn't oversleep like yesterday when my alarm failed to go off! See? Positivity Tuesday.

(At least I am well-rested!. . .Okay I know. I can stop now. But I probably won't. Donuts are good for you because they make you happy! Now you try.)

I'm also living vicariously through the song "Holiday" by Dizzee Rascal as a means to imagine myself in some sort of dysfunctional relationship wherein a man I hardly know pays for me to travel to exotic locals with only a bikini and my passport (which I should probably find in case I suddenly come upon such an offer this weekend). I have a good imagination! Positivity Tuesday.

But my true anthem as of late has been this little gem by Yeasayers, introduced to me by the glorious work bestie Elyse:

Ambling Alp.
My favorite bit of the lyrics are towards the end (I know there are names for sections of song but I've had too much caffeine to remember them right now).

Now the world can be an unfair place at times
But your lows will have their compliment of highs
And if anyone should cheat you
Take advantage of or beat you raise your head
And wear your wounds with pride

Because my thesis beats me. BUT I WILL WEAR MY WOUNDS WITH PRIDE, THESIS. I WILL WEAR THEM WITH PRIDE.

-AC2

And give me any motivational music recs you may have, in the comments. I need more to survive. I can only listen to these two songs on repeat so many times before I get tired of them and go back to listening to Ace of Base/The Spice Girls exclusively.

Whatever they drank in Ancient China probably would make a man out of you.

From the keyboard of AC2, at 3:00am on a Saturday/Sunday.

So, being the huge nerd that I am I was obviously perusing Cousin Mabry's (Salsa Dancing Cousin? Is that the name we came up with for you? I don't remember. It's 3am and I'm sober.) books on poetry she had checked out from her local, Colorado library, looking for suitable wedding wordage, before the lot of us headed out for her Cousin Bachelorette in College Station.

My favorite of the books? Definitely Bartlett's Poems for Occasions. There are poems in there for just about every occasion, probably including 'becoming a woman'. My favorite, however, was a poem from ancient China entitled "Drinking Alone with the Moon". The text is as follows (and is possibly even better than my epic love poem I Love You More Than Socks):

Drinking Alone with the Moon

From a pot of wine among the flowers
I drank alone. There was no one with me-
Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon
To bring me my shadow and make us three.
Alas, the moon was unable to drink
And my shadow tagged me vacantly;
But still for a while I had these friends
To cheer me through the end of spring. . .
I sang. The moon encouraged me.
I danced. My shadow tumbled after.
As long as I knew, we were boon companions.
And then I was drunk, and we lost one another.
. . .Shall goodwill ever be secure?
I watched the long road of the River of Stars.

Li Po
Chinese (701-762)
Translated by Witter Bynner

I don't remember what official occasion that was filed under, but if you find yourself having the occasion of being emo and drunk while alone, then this is certainly the poem for you! Pretty much when I read it I just imagine characters from Mulan stumbling around so blind drunk they can't find their own shadow. I'll make a man out of youuuu!

The promised photos of the Cousin Bachelorette, etc, will have to wait until AC1's return from glorious Costa Rica where she is currently vacationing while I hold down the fort at the BDH. Whence she returns I'll force her to upload all photos recently gathered so we can live vicariously through her. Unless you're on vacation too. Then I'm not sure whether to be flattered that you're reading this on your vacation or chastise you for not going outside. GO OUTSIDE. Unless you're sunburned. Then get you some aloe vera gel, and not with any lotion in it either. Trust me. I'm really pale and I know my shit.

Anyway, in the meantime I can post photos of me coding my thesis in crayon (the things I do to get myself to work, seriously) and you can. . .not be jealous of that at all, really.

Let's get down to business
To defeat the Huns*
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you. . .

Sing it with me now. (That one's for you, Derek Todor.)

-AC2

*In this rendition, substitute "Huns" with "Thesis" except that really fucks up the rhyming scheme. I'll work on it.

Aquatic Cousins Take on Shasta Tiki Punch

The Aquatic Cousins took on Family Times in small town rural Texas this weekend and. . .are really tired now. But we wanted to share with you the following reaction video to the wonders of Shasta Tiki Punch. By 'wonders' we mean 'you're probably going to die'.



Further updates on College Station Cousin Bachelorette to follow, including the fifteen-year-old we met in a bar who was born in 1994, looked like Rupert Grint and kept calling me ma'am. No one should be allowed to make me feel so old at the age of 24.

-AC2