Gregg Phone: Does not have tutu, decidedly not aquatic

In keeping with my (AC2 or Sparker, if you will) incredibly varied sense of coordination, I managed to drop Gregg the 3G iPhone into a glass of water sitting in my cup-holder on Friday evening as I was leaving Zen with my tasty takeout wares.

Usually there is a party* in my cupholders and not water. But though Gregg Phone was named for Old Gregg of Mighty Boosh fame, he is not in fact semi-aquatic as his namesake is, or at least doesn't seem to be after spending two days in a bag of rice and being charged overnight. I still hold out slim hope, but I'm guessing he has died an early death at the age of one year. I am sad. He was loved and also I am broke and not sure I can afford to replace him in the manner I would wish to.

Let's have a moment of silence for brave Gregg Phone, who tried to imitate the semi-aquatic ways of both his owner and his namesake. Deep breath. Let us now move on to happier and more prosperous waters: COUSIN ADVENTURES!

The Aquatic Cousins have been adventuring somewhat seperately lately, with AC1 visiting Empty Chair Cousin in San Fran and AC2 (me) holding down the BDH** fort with the Pointy-eared Canine Brigade (pictured below) while attempting to work and avoid my thesis at all costs, instead playing with AC1's closet and making new outfits from its contents. Also I did laundry last night.

Pointy-eared Canine Brigade

I did, however, have a fabulous adventure with work bestie Elyse- on Halloween after taking the Pointy-eared Canine Brigade for a long walk through the park, she suggested we randomly venture to Houston to see Hanson in concert. I agreed, as long as we left early the next day to return to the dogs, lest they be neglected in my charge (they are my nephews, after all).

At this point, Dear Reader, you are probably having one of a few reactions:
1) Holy shit, I haven't thought about Hanson in years. Aren't they all married now or something? They're still around doing musical things? (Yes and yes.)
2) Hahaha Hanson is so stupid! Did they play MmmBop? Do they all still look like girls? (Well Taylor rather looked like a gay pirate, but we'll get to that in a minute.)
3) OMG I LOVE HANSON! (You are probably the rarer reader and possibly named Laura Taylor)
4) I'm hungry. (You're a person after my own stomach, Reader Dear)

I have to say, I am up for pretty much any random adventure and what happened in the course of this evening- involving a faux Spanish man from Craigslist and my costume of "The Death of All Your Hopes and Dreams" among other things- most definitely qualified in all aspects. I mean, their encore was a cover of Thriller.



Does that not say it all? My favorite part is the guy from one of the opening bands who is just wandering around the stage with a beer. The video doesn't show it, but he basically fell off of the stage headfirst, between stage and barrier. That's the part where Taylor stops singing and starts laughing, looking mightily like a gay pirate (he had stripped off the other components of their costume as The Three Amigos) as he goes to help him back up.

After the show we met up with my first wife/godsister/bestie Rebecca and her husband Michael who were on a pub crawl in Montrose (this act combined both my love for them and my need to not sleep in my car or drive back to Austin at midnight). Elyse and I were sadly without costume as we had assumed the concert would get out a bit later than it did, but I still had my temporary roller derby tattoos on from work the day before (see: photo at top of this post; please do not think I'd be dumb enough to ever actually get an Ed Hardy neck tattoo) and since I was wearing a sweater and a t-shirt I just started telling people I was dressed as "the death of all your hopes and dreams".

Now that's a scary costume.

Additionally, if you are ever in the Montrose area of Houston and looking for a delicious old-fashioned cocktail, I recommend you stop by Anvil. It's a bit pricey if you're not going for their special, but trust me- an Airmail is worth it (and if you're used to buying drinks in NY or LA, $9 might not seem so horrendous).

I did wish that Elyse had brought her costume, because it was the height of awesome and showed up all other Little Red Riding Hoods I have seen before or since- with a steampunk corset and custom-made hood she will probably reign supreme for many more moons to come.

(Photo credit to Oliver Wong, esteemed co-worker of ours. You may peruse more of his awesome work on his Flickr page, if you are into that stalkery kind of thing.)

To your right: please observe the awesome; corset not pictured but can be imagined.

After a sexy buffet breakfast at Baba Yega Sunday morning, we journeyed back to Austin-town and the swift return of realities. . .but not before taking the Pointy-eared Canine Brigade to the park for some choice tennis ball chasing action. I am an excellent Auntie, after all.

-AC2


*Party in my Cup Holders: this does not mean drinking and driving, but instead refers to the ambient lighting that changes across a rainbow of colors when a certain button is pressed; runs inside my cup holders and around the foot area in the front and back seats (this feature also solely responsible for the naming of my vehicle as Lafayette)

**BDH: again, this is Barbie Dreamhouse, residence of AC1 and chock full of awesome

Yes pretty much I'm just going to use this as a vehicle to talk about Stuff I Want

Okay STOP THE PRESSES and nevermind on the shiny ones because I have found something even more glorious and Sarah-related:

PUMPKIN BOOTS!!!

You may not know this about me, AC2, but I am completely enamored of all things pumpkin-flavored. It is even written on my whiteboard at work that you can find me from the hours of 9:30-3:30 Monday through Friday or "anywhere pumpkin-flavored things may be". Trufax you guys

Obviously I would not try to eat these shoes (I imagine they would taste slightly worse than wax fruit) but oh HOW I WOULD WEAR THEM. I think they'd look absurdly fetching with my lavender trench-coat from Great Coats.



I was teased mercilessly by the universe today as I discovered the existence of this color when my dear office bestie emailed me a fantastical sale- 40% off*!!!- but all that was left was size 5. Alas, my feet might be somewhat small for my Amazonian height, but not quite that freakish.

Therefore Readers Dear, if ever you so happen upon these magnificent rain boots at discounted price do be kind enough to contact me about it. I would weep with joy and model them for you, possibly even standing next to pumpkins/frolicking through a field of fallen leaves.

-AC2

*They are $115USD normally, so 40% off would have put me at a more bearable $69. I've seen them on British websites for £60 which is about $99, but I'm guessing international shipping charges would rape me whether or not they're affected by the Royal Mail strike business. (Hey look at that Twitter keeps me up to date on foreign events!)

A Brief Introduction to Insanity

I would like to announce- before any formal joint-cousin-blogging is done- that The Aquatic Cousins did manage more or less successfully to take Dallas and survive OU weekend, despite such unsavory hurdles as being located in enemy territory.

But more on that later.

Right now I just want to show you what you should most definitely purchase for me, Aquatic Cousin 2, if you felt like getting me a Christmas present:

SHINY!

Yes, those are traditional wellies, much like the awesometastic ones owned by AC1. I did purchase those amazing camo hunting boots from Academy not long ago, as you may remember, but though my office does allow cat piano shirts, I can't say I could accesorize hunting boots with business casual wear every time it rains.

Thus: shiny wellies are on my horizon. I also like the gold. I'd even be okay with purple or bright yellow.

You know, just thought I'd share. Since you didn't get me anything for my birthday. *sniff sniff* But really, that's okay. Maybe we're not yet to that stage in our relationship, Dear Readers. I understand. I can wait.

-AC2

Old Gregg was there in his tutu and canoe somewhere, probably

The Aquatic Cousins got a chance to flex their semi-aquatic muscles this past weekend, at the Austin City Limits (ACL) music festival, thanks to some torrential down-pouring of rain. This turned poor lovely Zilker park into a mudpit and made the people who put down the sod several months ago that had it so beautiful and shining mere days before most likely cry with tears of intense sadness. But those tears were probably washed away in the rain and added to the mud, so it doesn't much matter anyway.

I'm really glad I'm not one of those guys. Hey, look at me- I'm sensitive.

Friday I did not attend the festival but AC1 and Umbrella Dancing Cousin did, enjoying the lovely weather and beautiful grass before monsoon season came upon us Saturday. Umbrella Dancing Cousin, however, missed out on this waterpark-with-a-soundtrack as she decided to return to Ft. Worth and I benefited heartily by making sure her wristband wasn't lonely and got to return to the festival through Sunday. (Pictured above with AC1 and AC2 is not Umbrella Dancing, cousin; that is Blanket Cousin. She has been so named because a throw blanket was her choice of rain gear.)

Having lived in the great city of Austin for the past five years you may be surprised, Dear Reader, to discover that this was my first foray into ACL- and enjoy it I did! Giant beers for the drinking, veggie burgers for the non-cow eating, port-a-potties for everyone, amazing judging looks from hipsters in hippie headbands aimed uncomfortably at you for several minutes as they pass you by! It's all magical. Even in the rain.

Observe: AC2 happily in a semi-aquatic, musical environment

In anticipation of the ground Sunday, the Aquatic Cousins went on a bit of a mad shopping dash to every store that might have ever thought about stocking rain boots or ponchos in the history of ever- only to find all of them sold out. ALL OF THEM. SOLD OUT. Finally we resorted to Academy- lo and behold!. . .they had giant camo man boots. BUT! They also had camo hunting boots and matching umbrella accessories. You bet your cushy ass I bought them both. Behold, the glory:

You can see that AC1 owns actual galoshes. My hunting boots are MOLD PROOF! and lasted the day out nicely, gathering roughly 1/3 of Zilker onto themselves which was more recently washed down my shower drain and into the plumbing system of my apartment building.

AC1 will have more to add about our adventures I am certain, as well as pictures of the sexy outfits we wore around the park. Imagine our mad dancing to Raveonettes (well, we were busy drinking our first 24oz beers at that point, so we were dancing only in our heads really) and Girl Talk dressed up so.

Naturally we were also inspired to start our own band (a highly unique enterprise in Austin, may I assure you) and happily my friend Elizabetsy can play not only the piano and the flute, but also the accordion. She is so in our band.

-AC2