Thursday, August 27, 2009

You wouldn't like me when I'm ANGRY.

So pretty much, that there to the left is how I'm feeling right about now. Censor bar and everything.


Just in case you were thinking of moving here, I would like for you to know (since it's not listed on any of the information they initially send you- which yes, I do actually read): THE CITY OF AUSTIN UTILITIES DOES NOT RECOGNIZE POST-DATED CHECKS UNLESS YOU CALL THEM AND INFORM THEM THAT YOU ARE SENDING ONE. Because naturally you would think to call a utility company and tell them to
read the information on the fucking check you're sending when you're trying to stay on top of your bills.


Let's take a short musical/dance break before we continue.

That's better. They even say "bills" in the song. (Also I would like to add: saw Flosstradamus play while I was visiting Empty Chair Cousin in San Fran with Aquatic Cousin 1 back in March. Magnificent! Go and see them if your like your ways to be dancing, because it's impossible to stay still at their show.)

Anyway: Now you know. I for one, did not know this and subsequently now have an overdrawn bank account. Customer service at my bank informed me that it's a 'verbal agreement' between you and a merchant when you post-date a check, so there's nothing they can do except dance on their merry way with the $10 overdraft fee they charge for me to ACCESS MY OWN DAMN MONEY. HEY CHASE BANK I AM LOOKING AT YOU. UNHAPPILY.

Then the nice holding classical music interspersed with advice on how to conserve energy ended and the people of City of Austin utilities informed me of my grave error in assuming they actually read the information on checks. THANKS, ASSHOLES.

The best part was when the bank customer service dude kindly informed me that I could use their online resources in the future. I nearly bit his head off/started laughing maniacally like an insane person because my internet has failed to work since the start service date of JULY 16 HEY AT&T NOW I'M LOOKING AT YOU.

After sending me umpteenth new modems (yes, obviously ALL of the modems you sent me MUST BE FAULTY) and spending countless hours of my life on the phone with different technical representatives (when they didn't hang up on me, that is)/waiting for service people who never arrived, a dude yesterday decided it must be one of the wireless cards on my laptop (except I can pick up internet everywhere else. . .?), so they can't help me til I get my computer fixed. Which, you know, I don't need to be WRITING MY THESIS OR DOING MY TWO JOBS, AT ALL.

So basically this Aquatic Cousin is:
  1. Pissed off
  2. Broke
  3. Wants you to know all about it
  4. Going to make fried mac n' cheese with a Lauren* later
First-world problems, I know, but it's damn annoying as hell when I'm trying to be responsible and make a living over here. If AT&T actually tries to hold me to that $136 bill they just sent since I've had ABSOLUTELY NO SERVICE, so help me Lord Old Gregg. . .it will not be pretty.


*I have a Collection of Laurens, including: Adopted Big Seester Lauren, Pocket-sized Lauren, Ginger Lauren, God-Loving Pixie Lauren. . .and the list goes on. Ginger Lauren is the Lauren I shall rendezvous with on this day.


  1. Well I think that the ginger made mac and cheese will most def cheer you up, if that fails run about in the rain. . . aaaand if that fails you know where I live.

  2. I'm sorry to hear about your problems with AT&T and that $136 bill. I'm not trying to overtly plug here, but I think this is relevant if you're looking to cut down those AT&T costs: I work for the consumer advocacy division of the company Validas, where we electronically audit and subsequently reduce the average cell bill by 22 percent through our website, Put simply, Validas guards against frivolous and unnecessary charges that inflate your cell bill more than it should be for your usage. You can find out for free if can modify your plan to better suit your needs by going to the website.

    For more info, check out Validas in the national news media, most recently on Fox News at .

    Good luck on cutting your wireless costs.

    Consumer Advocacy,

  3. Well Dylan perhaps I'd be more inclined to believe this wasn't just an overt plug if I thought you'd actually read the post, which clearly you didn't because then you'd know I was talking about my Internet service. I'm all snuggled & peaches with my cell service, but thanks for your concern.